Does He Know Me?
But whoever loves God is known by God. (1 Corinthians 8:3, NIV)
When I retired from the LPGA Tour in 2009, I was done with golf. And when I say done, I mean done! I didn’t want to play the game, talk about the game, or work in the golf business—at all. I declared that I would never compete again. One should never say never…
Several days ago, I competed in my first official Legends tour event, the official senior tour of the LPGA. While the Legends Tour is still very competitive, it does not hold the same level of pressure as the LPGA Tour. The small amount of internal tension I felt slowly eased as I experienced the lightheartedness of my peers.
The deeper longing of all of our hearts is to be known by our heavenly Father.I noticed one significant question sitting in my gut when I arrived on the tournament grounds. Will they remember me? This is a tender place in my life story for multiple reasons, and it was getting poked as I began to run into pros I hadn’t seen in over 10 years. The reality was that I not only was remembered, I also felt welcomed through the smiles, hugs, and hellos I received.
As I reflected on what I was feeling, I realized that it wasn’t my peers who had forgotten me, it was me who had forgotten me. My forgetting was a slow process over the course of my career and was tied to the silence I fiercely guarded about my story of abuse. My way of coping was to disappear behind my performance, disappear behind taking care of others, and disappear behind Christianity. I loved Jesus, but I didn’t want him to know all of me. Or at least that is what I believed.
As I started to share with kind men and women who dared to be empathetically disturbed by my story, I started to feel permission to think about me and my heart again. I began to remember that I am a delightful, vibrant woman and my presence makes a difference. Returning to the familiarity of competition is part of the redemptive work of the Holy Spirit where I no longer want to disappear, but rather I want to be known. And part of being known is that I am a professional golfer who is a rookie on The Legends Tour.
The deeper longing of all of our hearts is to be known by our heavenly Father. He created us to know him and to be known by him. Paul, in his eloquent directness, reminded us whoever loves God is known by God… all the good, all the not-so-good, and all the in-between are known by the Creator of the universe. If this is true, then we have the freedom to believe it is not what we do that makes us known; it is whose we are that does.
If you are struggling with the feeling of being forgotten today, my prayer is that your eyes and heart will remain open to where Jesus will show you that you are known and that you matter.
May 25, 2017
Copyright 2017 Links Players International